If Anything Else Breaks…

How I would typically describe my job: Rarely boring or mundane.

Now, the fact that I don’t get bored is a major bonus. If there’s one thing that makes me cranky and irritable, it’s boredom. I have a list of things I want to do rather than sit on my ass staring at a white wall for 8 hours, so if I’m at work I want to be doing something. In this respect, my facilities job is absolutely brilliant for my personality. One day is never identical to the next (this isn’t to say we don’t have our down time- I’m pretty sure I could have gone screaming Christmas carols down the hall on Christmas Eve and nobody would have heard me), but it’s still contained in an organized combination of tasks, which I then create lists and spreadsheets for. It really appeals to the crazy organized side of me. Can you say color coding? However, there are days, days when I’d really like to take all of my beautifully organized and labeled folders and CHUCK them at the next thing that breaks. Or the roach I just saw crawl across the floor. But that’s why I write. So I don’t get roach guts on my folders.

The Week of the Urinals: Have you ever had a multi-floor urinal clog? It’s not pretty. Flooding is involved and a lot of cleaning is required. It makes your typical clog look like a walk through the park and suddenly Drain-O just isn’t cutting it. Call in the big guns.

Code Name Mr. Jingles: There be mice. And roaches. They might be in your kitchen or cubicle. We apologize but alas there’s a bulldozer destroying The Everything outside, so they’re going to come in here. It’s also below freezing, where would you run?

Calling for Comfort: This is a constant struggle but you have 2 options. Would you prefer Dante’s Inferno or the Arctic Tundra. Your choice.

Cry Me a River: No, really. There’s a river coming from the kitchen down the hallway. I’d recommend lifting your feet and potentially rowing your way to a pal’s office.

The Great Flood: Your wall looks a little wet. That’s because our neighbors upstairs have an overflowing toilet and it’s dripping down the walls. 4 floors worth of them, but don’t worry there won’t be any mold. At least, none that you can see.

Every day is an exciting new adventure and I promise I never laugh at your misfortunes. Okay, maybe I laugh a little bit, but it’s not my fault. Schadenfreude is a real thing.

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