Things You Shouldn’t Say to a Bride


For some strange reason, people feel the need to unload their infinite wisdom on brides/brides-to-be constantly. Don’t misunderstand me– as a young bride myself I can honestly say I appreciate learning new life hacks and welcome advice from individuals with far more life experience. But people sharing this advice can range from your father to a woman walking down the street who happens to see your ring. The former? Perfectly fine. The latter? Not so much.

I seem to attract a lot of the latter. Individuals I have never met feel the need to push their opinions on me. I’m not sure if it’s because of my age or simply terrible luck, but one thing is for certain– it’s rude. Unless you want to wish the bride congratulations or make a passing comment on the beauty of her ring, don’t stop. So here are some tips, from one bride to the world.

I Can Marry if I Want to– The other day I was working on a project, drinking out of my vintage 1990s Disney cup when a20140814_092454 woman spotted my ring and asked if I was engaged. I smiled, said yes, and went on to mind my own business. She, however, was not quite finished and decided to add, “Are you sure you really want to get married?” Now, there is that joking tone you have with your friends where they rib you about the ole ball and chain, but when a complete stranger looks at you with a straight face and asks if you’re sure about your upcoming vows it’s rather insulting. No, I wanted to say, I just woke up one day and texted my boyfriend “Lets get hitched” and he said yes. However, rudeness should not beget rudeness. I smiled. Bottom line: She’s getting married and it’s really none of your business why. If you want to ask me about something, ask if I’m taking my honeymoon in Disneyworld so I can update my glassware. The answer? Hopefully!

I’m Young and, Yes, I’m Still Getting Married– This is a fun one and can come from all sides. I once had a gent the same age as me immediately start listing divorce statistics when he found out my ring meant “engaged.” Now that I know the fail rate of marriage for individuals of all ages (and then broken down into decades) it totally changes my mind! No, no it does not. Age doesn’t always equal maturity and experiences, especially for something like marriage, cannot be compared. Stop listing numbers at me. I get it, the odds are against us, but we’re pretty stubborn.

We Take Care of Our Home– Pet Peeve Alert- “You’ve turned into a housewife.” This statement was an automatic response after I explained that I needed to head home to start cooking dinner. First and foremost, I hate the way “housewife” is used in that sentence. It demotes women who choose to stay at home when many people have sacrificed and fought to make that a valid choice. I also have a newsflash: If I lived alone I would still need to make dinner. It is no one’s business who cooks or cleans. Many couples share these responsibilities, and (in this particular instance) it happened to be my night to cook. I’m actually pretty horrible at it. If helping to keep up my home and taking pride in it makes me a housewife then so be it.

What else shouldn’t you say to a bride? What have people asked you?


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